Thursday, April 10, 2008

Meet the Parents

It is completely fascinating to me how opinionated people can be and how entitled they feel to that opinion. What fascinates me even more is how they don't recognize their opinion as an "opinion" but an actual fact. I am so fucking pissed right now, and I can't even articulate exactly maybe, just maybe if I ramble for a bit I will figure it out.

So here's the deal...I'm sitting w/ a group of folks who shall remain anonymous, so for our purposes today we will call them LaFonda, Matilda, Irma, Pie Head, The Intern, and Boss Lady. Anyways, we are eating Jimmy Johns (which, side note, is a total FATGASM) in the conference room when I turn to LaFonda and quietly mention that I am meeting "The Girl's" parents on Sunday. This is what they call her as if I have a harem of women and they just can't keep the name straight. Anyway, usually I find this funny, but today I seem to be feeling a little "sensi". The conversation went a little something like this:

LaFonda: "Wait..hold on. What..tell me you are joking?!"

Me: "No, I'm serious...what?"

LaFonda: "You can't do that. You two just met, and you know how you are."

Me: "How am I exactly?"

LaFonda: "Boss Lady what do you think about this? She emailed w/ this girl for about a month, they met on Sunday, and now they are dating or something and she wants to meet the parents."

Boss Lady: "'t want to do that."

Me: "What's the big deal? I don't fucking get this issue here."

Boss Lady: "The next thing you know you are going to be talking about living together and then you'll really be in a mess."

Me: "I'm not going to do that!"

Pie Head: "She's done it before."

Me: "Pie Head...come on! I learned my lesson, that is not going to happen."

Matilda: "What's she talking about? Sparkly Queen...what in the hell are you talking about now?"

LaFonda: "She's talking about meeting The Girl's parents."

Matilda: "Oh HELL NO!"

Me: "Damn LaFonda, why do you have to put my shit out there?!"

Pause for argument that ensues over putting my shit out there.

Me: "So what is the appropriate timeline for meeting someones parents?"

LaFonda: "There is no perfect time, that's not what I am saying."

Me: "So then why not Sunday?"

LaFonda: "You don't know that this is going anywhere."

Me: "Whatever...I'm done talking about this."

1. I'm super pissed that LaFonda can't keep a conversation between the two of us or express her concern in a less condescending and attacking sort of way.

2. I just really don't feel like this is their business or understand why they feel so strongly about it.

With that said, I am left with the following...I am sure that this comes from a place of concern for my happiness and the well-being of my heart. I have on occasion fallen pretty hard for people and pretty fast. I must say though, never this hard or this fast (hahaha I said hard and fast.) I suppose it is true that I don't know her fully yet, but isn't this part of it? Aren't they part of who she is? Isn't this part of getting to know her?

At the end of the day, I am going to do what makes me happy...and she makes me so happy. That's all that matters as far as I'm concerned. Oh...and they are really going to shit when they discover that "The Girl" is actually "The Girlfriend." Yeah...I know GBFF, you were right. I owe you a beer.


  1. Dear Beautiful Woman,

    As you know, I had dinner with Mom #2 tonight. We read your blog together and talked about how crazy I am about you. At the end of the blog she said, "Oh, give me a fucking break. Your mother and I moved in together about twelve hours after we met and that was 17 years ago."

    I can't wait to do all of the wonderful things with you that same may judge us for. I mean, come's OBVIOUSLY a case of cute-ness envy!

    Dear, LaFonda, Matilda, Irma, Pie Head, The Intern, and Boss Lady...

    I can't wait to meet you guys. Whenever you are ready. ;)

    Yours quick, fast and hard,

  2. *correction, line 9, word three should read "some," not "same."

  3. I can relate to the thinking LaFonda, Matilda, Irma, et al in that it is somewhat early to meet the parents. Introducing the parents to one you like is generally a way to say "this is where I come from and I hope you like it and it likes you 'cause i like you." And given your past relationship experience, perhaps your friends felt overprotective...

    However, you should do what the 2 of you want so enjoy the dinner.

    And I wasn't agreeing or disagreeing with your friends, I'm justing state facts as your gay mentor. Plus, you owe me more than just 1 beer.