Friday, January 23, 2009

The Winds of Change

When exactly do the Winds of Change blow? (God SCORPIONS rock!) Cause I am pretty sure that they were hurricane strength during the month of January. Somewhere in the chaos, I lost my blog. Sorry about that...and thanks to those of you who did a little checking up on me.

Returning to my job after a 2+ months family medical leave of absence has been a bit of a challenge. Trying to figure out where to pick-up and definitely feeling the learning curve blues. In short, it's like I have shown up 45 minutes late for a marathon that I not only have to run and finish, but win. The people ahead of me are on 'roids, and I unfortunately still have a Twinkie in one hand....and are those weights around my waist? my muffin-top. See what I'm sayin'?

So there has been that. In addition, I have been in search of some balance in my life. I'm seeing a dietitian, going to the gym, still adjusting my meds, attending couples therapy, individual therapy, getting financial guidance, trying a new church, starting a book club, running a social meetup site, trying to get ahead of the wedding planning, and last but not least still working on that mother-fucking detachment thing! As you can see, my search for balance during the month of January has turned into me digging a giant hole for myself. Now how am I supposed to run, finish, and win that damn marathon when I am in a GD hole?

I will figure this out. As a good friend pointed out, I need to PUT THE SHOVEL DOWN and stop digging my own grave. The shovel is down, but I may still be holding a spoon. The Winds of Change are still blowing, but the hurricane is over. I think I will step outside and enjoy the light breeze on my face.

Love & Sparkles-
The Sparkly Queen

Thursday, January 8, 2009

When Awake True Life Hurts

Two hours, one sleeping pill and an anti-anxiety pill later and I am still AWAKE! I'm a hot mess and too numb to write. Thank God for the MTV True Life marathon!

Oh...wait...can I just tell you what Emily's father-in-law did today? (That's what I am calling my dad these days. It helps with the detachment.) As many of you know, I now handle my mother's finances...and since my dad remains unemployed, the government requires that I send him money every month. Gross right? Anyways, long story short, last month he needed his money sooner than my online bill pay could get it I being the nice daughter that I am...purchased a cashiers check over the phone and authorized him to pick it up at the local branch. I of course, put an immediate stop payment on the other check which he promised to destroy once it arrived.

Well guess who called me today friends? Ummm...the bank. My dad deposited the check with the stop payment and has been spending it. Good lord! I mean #1. What kind of dumbass accepts a check w/ a stop payment on it? This was a check written off of their own bank. #2. What in the hell did he think he was doing? Did he think he was going to scam $800 off of me (actually my mother?) People, this makes me pissed everytime I think about it. I need to woosah that shit in a serious way.

Ok...for real yo...back to True Life...somehow it makes me seem a little less cray-cray. But just a little.

Thursday, January 1, 2009

Welcome to 2009

Dear Reader(s)-
HAPPY NEW YEAR! The next 365 days of 2009 should be pretty interesting given that I will be...
  1. Turning thirty. Yes...the big 3 - 0.
  2. Getting married.

  3. Legally changing my last name.

  4. Piercing my labia majora.

Ok...number 4 was a lie...I just wanted to use the the words "labia" and "majora."

With that said, I feel the need to be super cliche and kick-off my year of blogs in 2009 by listing my resolutions...drum roll please!

: Of course this does not include my school loans or car, but close enough. I will also start saving, and I will stick to my budget.

2. GET HEALTHY, FIT, & SVELTE: I recently came to the realization that my grandmother died at 53 of heart-failure, and my mom lost her damn mind before she even made it to 50. I don't want to be dead or crazy-town-USA in 20 years or so big that I have to be cut out of my own house like that woman in the movie What's Eating Gilbert Grape. I will change my lifestyle not for the opportunity to wear that slutty-out-of-style tube-top I bought on clearance for $10 at American Eagle back in 1998, but I will do it because I want to live a very long life for myself, for Emily, and the family we will one day have.

3. TALK LESS - PRAY MORE: Enough said.

4. COMMIT TO MY GROWTH IN IN AL-ANON: It's so totally way beyond time for that.

5. LOVE EMILY FIERCELY EVERYDAY: I am so blessed to have Emily in my life. I will never take a single day for granted.


7. TRY SOMETHING NEW: This could be anything from writing my memoir to brushing my teeth 3 times a day instead of 2.

Wish me luck, and I look forward to sharing my year with you!

Lots of Love & Sparkles-
The Sparkly Queen

Em looking like a fly-honey! How could a girl not say "Yes!"