A "Dic - Dic to Love"

Great. I've officially been labeled a "Love Addict" (Enter Robert Palmer, "You might as well face it your addicted to love...") When I was younger, I totally thought he was saying, "A dic-dic to love." I have no fucking clue what a "dic-dic" is, but man I thought that was a jam. Also, I loved those sexy women who pretended to play those guitars and swayed seductively in the background of the videos. Can I tell you how mother-fucking disappointed I was when I showed up at his concert at the age of 10 and it was just good ol' Bob (that's what I like to call Robert Palmer) and NO GIRLS! I WAS PISSED! This should have been the first clue that one day I would grow up to be a big old lezzy...well that, and the fact that I had been making out with my red-headed neighbor Courtney in her closet since the summer after second grade.

OK, so back to my so called, "love addiction." According to Robert (Snellgrove...my therapist, not Robert Palmer the singer) this is a problem. I have this desire, a longing if you will, to be loved and validated by people who are not "emotionally available" to me. This of course stems from my childhood...wanting the love and approval of my parents...blah blah blah. Therefore, I continue to repeat this cycle in relationships and friendships. I work my ass off to please them, in hopes that they will validate me as a person. How f-ing pathetic does that sound. So, needless to say, I walked out of his office feeling not so great about myself today. Isn't the point of therapy to make you not want to kill yourself?

Put down the phone people, I am not about to kill myself. If you knew me at all, you would know that I am way too lazy for that. I would have to actually put down my laptop, which might mean a missed MySpace message or email, and actually move from the couch. I don't know...I could be like that woman who sat on her toilet for two years. Actually it was her boyfriend's toilet, and he claims they had a "normal" relationship. Hmmmm...all, I'm sayin' is, I hope there were two toilets in that house.