Monday, November 17, 2008

Reflections Smothered in PB&J

Over the weekend, I received the message below via MySpace from a girl I have known since elementary school.

I am writing this message to you and not really sure where to begin! First off, I know that I wanna say how sorry I am to you! I spent the better part of my 30 yrs thinking that your life was all peanut butter and jelly. I have known you, from a distance of course, since Maplewood days, and prejudged you! I had no idea what you went through all throughout your childhood and apparently throughout your adulthood thus far! After reading some of your blogs several months ago I realized that you were not the person I had always thought you were much more. And today after reading your sparkly queen tales, I found myself with tears in my eyes for more than one reason. I am happy that you have found someone that makes you as happy as Emily does! Take care of you and the family you are making with her. Always remember that you can't change other people (i.e. your family). They are who they are gonna took me a long long time to figure that one out!

This message caused me to reflect on several things...
1. How hard I have worked throughout my life to keep my family's secrets. I am exhausted and cannot do it any longer.

2. How heavy a burden it was for my 8 year-old self to carry so much guilt and shame. These things were not my own to carry, and I am done.

3. Growing up I denied myself the opportunity to truly connect with people by hiding. I will always be true to myself.

4. Peanut Butter and Jelly isn't just for lunch anymore! B.B. thank you so much for your lovely message. This one's for you...

No comments:

Post a Comment