Thanksgiving is a Time for Song

And now a Thanksgiving Day song just for you:

Gobble-Gobble who is that?

Mr. Turkey big and fat.

Gobble-Gobble what does he say?

"Eat me on Thanksgiving Day!"

OK, so it actually goes "meet me" instead of "eat me", but I just don't feel that it has that same ring. Or maybe it is supposed to be, "meat me." Hmmmm....the important questions in life.

Another thing that this little ditty has me thinking about...the word "Gobble." Is it a coincidence that the sound we attach to a turkey is also (according to Dictionary.com) defined as:

gobble

verb, -bled, -bling.
–verb (used with object)
1. to swallow or eat hastily or hungrily in large pieces; gulp.
2. to seize upon eagerly (often fol. by up): After being gone for so long, they gobbled up all the local news. –verb (used without object)
3. to eat hastily.

I think not. Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!

Love -
The Sparkly Queen

From Emily

...and the leaves on the ground

are crisp from the fall

the orange and the red
and the beauty of it all

it's autumn, my love
our first together

I love you now,
and in all other weather.

~Emily

From Emily

... and the leaves on the ground
are crisp from the fall

the orange and the red
and the beauty of it all

it's autumn, my love
our first together

I love you now,
and in all other weather.

~Emily

A Prescription for Detachment

"Detach with love." Al-Anon constantly reminds me to do this, but I am always left with the question of HOW? During my recent stay in Indiana I repeated this over and over again to myself...along with "The Three Gets":

1. Get off their backs.
2. Get out of their way.
3. Get on with your life.

My dad invited me to an NA meeting which gave me a new perspective, humbled me, and made me feel a sense of pride for my father that I am not sure I have ever felt. After the meeting, we talked openly about how our recent arguments had made us fee,...hurt, confused, and longing for a better relationship. We each apologized and walked away with a better understanding of the other.

When I told him goodbye, I knew I was ready to detach with love. I love my father and my family. I hope nothing but the best for them. It is their responsibility to make those hopes a reality.

So...on to the third "Get"...getting on with my life. I have been living their lives for almost thirty years; therefore, living my own feels a little-bit uncomfortable and a lot-bit scary. Where will I begin? Tea on the patio...I think that sounds good for now.

Blessings & Baby Jeeze

Sitting on the landing of our stairs tonight, I took a moment to let in the silence. Above me Emily was sleeping and below me was our lovely home. I smiled...actually, I smiled so big I became a little self-conscious. Realizing that it was just me and Otho (the cat) I allowed myself to take in the peaceful joy that surrounded me. Even now as I type this, I am overwhelmed by this feeling...a realization actually...the realization of the many blessings that are in my life.

• The consuming love that I am able to feel for and show Emily.
  
• Emily's love, commitment, smile, humor, kindness...the list goes on.


• Everyday I am told and shown that I am loved.


• Laughter. Each and everyday we laugh.


• My family: Emily, Karon, Toni, Steve, Ferryn, Amanda, Mindy, Aunt Carolyn, Pappaw, Karter, Bella, Otho, Monster, and even Gertie.


• The warmth that fills our home.


• Emily likes to snuggle when she sleeps.


• Enduring friendships.


• Bella smiles every time she sees me.


• The kindness, prayers, love, emails, letters, and support (emotional and financial) that so many people have shared.


• My Therapists: Robert, Richard, and Ikea. (A girls got needs ya know.)


• The best pizza in the world is only a mile from my house and costs $1.5o per slice.


• Framboise.


• The support of my team, who have made it possible for me to take a leave of absence to focus on the care of my mother.


• Al-Anon (Never thought I'd say that.)


• Our new bedding. Love it.


• Excellent health insurance. If you've got it be thankful. If it's good...get on your knees and thank The Sweet Baby Jeeze or at least your CEO cause man it's a hard-knock life for those who ain't got it.

The list goes on. The point is I am happy. Despite all that may be difficult right now, I am truly happy. This is my life...here with Em in Houston. Thank you Sweet Baby Jeeze, for everything.

Love & Sparkles-
The Sparkly Queen

Reflections Smothered in PB&J

Over the weekend, I received the message below via MySpace from a girl I have known since elementary school.

I am writing this message to you and not really sure where to begin! First off, I know that I wanna say how sorry I am to you! I spent the better part of my 30 yrs thinking that your life was all peanut butter and jelly. I have known you, from a distance of course, since Maplewood days, and prejudged you! I had no idea what you went through all throughout your childhood and apparently throughout your adulthood thus far! After reading some of your blogs several months ago I realized that you were not the person I had always thought you were...you were much more. And today after reading your sparkly queen tales, I found myself with tears in my eyes for more than one reason. I am happy that you have found someone that makes you as happy as Emily does! Take care of you and the family you are making with her. Always remember that you can't change other people (i.e. your family). They are who they are gonna be....it took me a long long time to figure that one out!

This message caused me to reflect on several things...
1. How hard I have worked throughout my life to keep my family's secrets. I am exhausted and cannot do it any longer.

2. How heavy a burden it was for my 8 year-old self to carry so much guilt and shame. These things were not my own to carry, and I am done.

3. Growing up I denied myself the opportunity to truly connect with people by hiding. I will always be true to myself.

4. Peanut Butter and Jelly isn't just for lunch anymore! B.B. thank you so much for your lovely message. This one's for you...